As hard as it was to get that early morning phone call it was even harder to have to come home and tell the kids what happened. They are not strangers to death unfortunately, having lost two grandparents in the last three years, but there was nothing I could do to prepare them this time. As a parent this is the kind of tragedy you try to protect your kids from but there it was staring me right in the face like a demon. I was as honest and to the point as I could be. Sugar coating it wasn't going to make it better and I tried my best to keep my composure so I could say it without throwing up right there on the living room floor. They sat and cried their little hearts out that morning, Kennedy repeatedly telling me how she just felt so bad for Dad and Lexie sobbing uncontrollably into Jason's shoulder. Not surprisingly both of them wanted to go to school, they needed their friends, and so I made a call to the community coordinator at Kennedy's school to fill her in and then drove to Lexie's school to talk directly to her counsellor. By then the news had travelled down the pipe at the high schools so I thankfully didn't have much explaining to do. Lexie's friend Sydney was called down to be with her until she was ready to face her first class and Kennedys bestie, Danica, called her just to tell her that she was her best friend and that she loved her. My girls are so blessed to have the friends that they do, these girls are wonderful, compassionate young ladies and I love them very much.
The girls took a short trip to Victoria over the Thanksgiving weekend to visit their other parents for a few days. They are pretty well travelled and it's nothing for me to put them on a plane so it was a nice break for Jason and I and a much needed change of scenery for them. Kennedy has a good friend that lives just down the road there and she was pretty excited to be able to see her and spend the weekend camping together. It's business as usual now though, they are back to school and trying to catch up on the homework from the few days they missed. Filling their free time with musical and cheer. They are both dealing with things in their own way and just like it is for Jason and I it's different for the two of them as well. Kennedy is more heartbroken for the people around her, she's like a little mother hen, but she's also very angry. Lexie, who shared a room with McKynley when they were younger, is struggling a lot more. She kept going up to the casket at the viewing and crying and it wasn't until I stood beside her and she leaned in to kiss McKynley's forehead and lay the drawing she'd made beside her that she was able to find a moment of peace. The Saturday before her passing Lexie and Mick spent some time together and Lexie gave her a makeover and they did a photo shoot, regular teenage girl stuff. So it was quite funny when Alexis joked that McKynley would have eternally good eyebrows as she had spent a lot of time shaping them to perfection and said that the funeral home better not screw them up. It was a light moment in a series of hard conversations and Lexie's humour has carried us through many tough moments these past weeks. A picture of McKynley from that day, all dolled up and wearing one of Lexie's dresses, now sits on her nightstand.
After the funeral, in the family room, the four of us stood in a circle with our arms around each other and sobbed. Standing right outside our little circle was our friends, our hand picked family, waiting to wipe away our tears. All of friends are helping us to heal, pushing us a long a little and reminding us to live. We are stronger because of them and they are a gift we will cherish forever.
Love and Laughter,
Jen
Beautiful. xo
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