"We Are Family"

I had an terribly easy divorce, far more simple than I deserved it to be, and for the last ten years I have shared custody of Alexis and Kennedy with my ex husband Todd. The military has taken him to several bases throughout the country but somehow we have always found a way to make his visits with the kids a priority. The girls always spend time with him on their summer break and Christmas vacation and Jason and I would celebrate with them and McKynley before they left for Edmonton or Ottawa or Victoria. For a lot of years I drove on treacherous Saskatchewan highways to meet Todd halfway between Regina and Edmonton where the four of us would have lunch together before I headed home alone only to have to make a return trip a week or so later to pick the girls up.

Todd married Sarah in the fall of 2012 and what I didn't realize at the time was the union would completely change our family forever. Todd and I had always managed to get along well after our split, putting the best interest of the girls before our own feelings. I was worried how our relationship would change with a new wife in the picture but Sarah came into our lives ready and eager to take on the roll of Mom. Being a step parent is hard. You're expected love a child or children that are not your own and you're never really sure where you fit into the picture or if you're stepping on someone's toes. The final message I had for McKynley was a note on her casket that said "some children are born of your body and some are born in your heart" and it's true, you don't have to have the battle scars of pregnancy to love a child unconditionally. Sarah is an amazing step-mom. She embraces motherhood whole heartedly and her love for our daughters has forged a strong bond between not only the three of them but the two of us as well. Her and I will talk on the phone for hours every week, she is one of the first people I call when I need to lean on someone and we have dropped the "Step" part of her title so she is she is just "Mom" to our girls. Todd and Jason get along well too and the four of us together are a parenting dream team. Alexis and Kennedy have grown up knowing the strength and stability that comes from having four parents that have the same expectations of them, the same basic rules and who only speak positive words about one another. We always present a united front and if we don't agree at the time we work it out later and we never ever fight about money.

Todd and Sarah are family, they are the first people I called when McKynley passed, we have travelled together and shared hotel rooms and laughed and cried together and the six of us will be spending our Christmas together in a chalet in the mountains at the girls request. We are raising strong, caring and compassionate young ladies and we are doing it together.

Love and Laughter,
Jen